i will now break my internet silence!
not a bad few weeks, i'm feeling really good. consistently weighing in now between 243 and 239, my goal is to be 235 by thanksgiving. it's been all about my diet, i believe; lots of tuna and chicken, more greens (loving kale) tried to cut out potatoes and beans. carbs are still a struggle, but i've finally given in to tracking my calories, and it's done me good.
ive made a huge batch of this stuff:
eating it on carb-light tortillas and whole grain bread. not bad at all, particularly with whole grain brown rice. i've been eating more canned fish, and this has worked out pretty well:
sorry for the long url! anyway, mix 2 cans of salmon, the above spices, 2 tsb honey, a splash of soy, some kale, some cucumbers, onions, and 2 tsb of light mayo. and a bit of sesame oil, if you want. sesame salmon salad! not too bad, if i do say so myself.
activity level has increased too, with positive results- and i dont feel like utter shit, either. Upped my running to four times a week, down to two zumba classes a week, but i'm mixing up my weight regimen with bicep curls, calf raises, tricep kicks, pushups, that kind of thing. the last few days i've felt light, alert, not bad at all.
might also be the consistent coffee i've had in the morning i'm downing at least two cups, not just to wake me up, but i like to think that the articles touting its health benefits are more true than the others (although i haven't heard anything bad about coffee lately)... COFFEE!
anyhow, i just want to say i can feel myself getting a lot better. and it's made me believe a little more i can do it. i can make 235, then 220, and keep it that way.
This Friday, im getting my first tattoo. on my upper left arm, i'm getting a stylized spider emblazoned on my skin. it all goes back to The Hobbit, my favorite book of all time. In the book, in the deepest, darkest part of Murkwood forest, his friends are attacked by gigantic spiders. It's here, at this scene, that Bilbo stands, sword in hand, and is brave. he saves his friends against the spiders. that scene has stuck with me since i read it as a kid. Spiders were suddenly much less frightening. to me, they became a symbol of bravery, of fear overcome. i want to be able to see it om my arm every day and remember what i can overcome.
and that's where i'm at right now :)