Thursday, October 25, 2012


i will now break my internet silence!

not a bad few weeks, i'm feeling really good. consistently weighing in now between 243 and 239, my goal is to be 235 by thanksgiving. it's been all about my diet, i believe; lots of tuna and chicken, more greens (loving kale) tried to cut out potatoes and beans. carbs are still a struggle, but i've finally given in to tracking my calories, and it's done me good.

ive made a huge batch of this stuff:

eating it on carb-light tortillas and whole grain bread. not bad at all, particularly with whole grain brown rice. i've been eating more canned fish, and this has worked out pretty well:

sorry for the long url! anyway, mix 2 cans of salmon, the above spices, 2 tsb honey, a splash of soy, some kale, some cucumbers, onions, and 2 tsb of light mayo. and a bit of sesame oil, if you want. sesame salmon salad! not too bad, if i do say so myself.

activity level has increased too, with positive results- and i dont feel like utter shit, either. Upped my running to four times a week, down to two zumba classes a week, but i'm mixing up my weight regimen with bicep curls, calf raises, tricep kicks, pushups, that kind of thing. the last few days i've felt light, alert, not bad at all.

might also be the consistent coffee i've had in the morning  i'm downing at least two cups, not just to wake me up, but i like to think that the articles touting its health benefits are more true than the others (although i haven't heard anything bad about coffee lately)... COFFEE!

anyhow, i just want to say i can feel myself getting a lot better. and it's made me believe a little more i can do it. i can make 235, then 220, and keep it that way.

This Friday, im getting my first tattoo. on my upper left arm, i'm getting a stylized spider emblazoned on my skin. it all goes back to The Hobbit, my favorite book of all time. In the book, in the deepest, darkest part of Murkwood forest, his friends are attacked by gigantic spiders. It's here, at this scene, that Bilbo stands, sword in hand, and is brave. he saves his friends against the spiders. that scene has stuck with me since i read it as a kid. Spiders were suddenly much less frightening. to me, they became a symbol of bravery, of fear overcome. i want to be able to see it om my arm every day and remember what i can overcome.

and that's where i'm at right now :)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Well, good evening!

First post in a while, but I've got news. As of yesterday, I'm weighing in at under 240 pounds. Holy fuck, I didn't honestly know I could do it. You hear lots of praise and encouragement, and it's all well and good and makes you feel well and good, but it's nothing compared to actually physically seeing the results. There's some relief felt, but at this point, it's more that the race just got started. I can't stop what I'm doing now, I'm seeing the results, so I gotta stick to it. That's the game plan, we're going to see how it goes.

The big thing is diet at the moment. I've started really paying attention to what I put in my lunch bag, and have been throwing together more veggies and unprocessed foods. It feels really good to know that I'm solely in control of what I'm eating. It's like I get to make art and enjoy it all the time, not just to let other people experience it. Not that I dislike cooking for others, of course.

Today was an experiment. No meat at all, my first real vegetarian day. Breakfast was a shake and coffee, lunch was a cucumber cream cheese sandwich & an apple, dinner was a monstrous stir fry with sweet potato, onion, asparagus, spinach, water chestnuts, zucchini, corn, broccoli, pepper and garlic, with sesame oil and low sodium soy sauce. Ht damn. It feels a little like roller skating for the first time.

Chris has started joining me at the gym. I don't make him do anything, and he's still feeling it out and getting into it. But it's good to have him there to talk to and exchange spots. He used to be on the football team in high school, and showed me a few things he retained, namely the nose-busters and triceps  stuff, something I need to work on.

Big news to me: I can do three full sets of bench presses at 145. Another step towards the 200lb goal. It's almost there. almost there.  Next goal after that is an unassisted chin-up. It's a slow process, and I've had to make a lot of it on my own, just reading,t asking and trying. But it's paying off, and I'm feeling good.

I still don't know where I'm going, but I know where I am, so there's that at least.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Evening, everybody!

Not doing too bad this last week. missed a Zumba class last night due to unforseen circumstances, but tonight i managed to wrangle a friend to do some weight training with me. He's a good friend, but our schedules conflicted for a long time, so i didnt get to hang out with him too much. Recently he got a standard 9-5 gig like me, so i'm hoping to have a gym buddy again (Sam's always great but she's usually teaching ;))

The better news is that i weighed in tonight under 245, even after eating. i feel a little victory. i know it can shoot back up if i'm not careful, so i've gotta start packing and planning meals carefully now. i'm going to try to run more, too, most likely. Sam has me on a '20 til 30' challenge; 30 jumping jacks yesterday, 30 squats today; 30 a day of something until she turns 30 in 18 days. it's fun, i've never done an exercise challenge before. we'll see how this goes!

I'm considering trying pescatarianism in November. I want to keep saying vegetarian, but i'm not ruling out eggs and fish. I think vegans came up with that word so they dont have to use too many syllables. i want to give it a shot, any way, do something new. i think i can survive on fruit and cucumbers for a while. and i've learned to love the sweet pertater. PERTADERS!!! I think it will at least be interesting, we'll see how october goes. no hurt in trying, right?

here's hoping.